some small remarkable things

1. 22 yrs Birth day gifts from my sister : Talking Honey Bear ( Korillakuma )

2. A blonde hair man likeness of my drawing  

January 8, 16 : 2015

  

We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet 

inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

- 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

  The year before last, I drop out from my cram school, and I start keep myself staying in my room, and this is everything What I Think About started. I start study by myself after I thought I couldn't hear what teacher saying at cram school, and, I'm sure when I found out I got this problem It's time I feels like I got ADHD.(But I didn't even got to see a doctor) When last year coming, I start oversleeping everyday and got nothing to do, and I feel lazy to read a book even I knew I wanted, and I spend time in smoking and listen music all the time and think about NOTHING. 'Nothing Means Everything' this thinking always occupied my mine in that moment. Drifting in my own mind is only thing I can do in that time, and it recalls me back a crush person who I got before three years ago and I start feels like a got all kinds of Hallucination about that person, but I couldn't even figure out it. I really lost sense of time within those days. Sometimes, I even start think someone is hacker my computer and peering my steps on the Internet. After all this massive stuff I got and I told my mom I want to got suicide again and, she told me I could go to Australia for a while If I want, so, I do. I went to AUS few months and, still feel I was drifting in my mind and I didn’t even want to play any fun things in that period. After I went back to Taiwan, I start myself working in a restaurant for three months, and while this time I start can feel a little ’Time Is There.’ Within those days, I seldom connect to my friends only a few but they also are not live close with me, a special one who is living in Tokyo that times and we always messages each other, We two always want keeping our daily drawing routine and we both enjoy some religions ideal. Recently, She is back from Tokyo and we spending few times in Taiwan, and tonight, we will together going to Church.
  January is the new years beginning and, I was feel like I was Relive, everything seems okay now even I was still stay in my room and feels like I was a ‘Nothing’. This period looks like I was totally upside down… drop out from my routine study, feeling most sadness within myself and lost the sense of time when I was try to keep doing my things… Etc. Now I feel all things is just a foundation, a ‘Reason’ I thought I could build more things than I should. The worst part is always makes things becoming worthy than ever. After all, when I recall back 2015, I would remember how was a life could be when I only got a sense called Solitude and, how is it can make things go up from our inner-self...